My Reluctant Smile*

* With images, that some may find unpleasant.

You may have noticed, I don’t properly smile in photos. I don’t appear on Instagram Stories, and my YouTube Channel is rather sparse.

I used to smile a lot. In fact, people would comment that I was always smiling. That was, until May 2015, when I had an accident…..

I’d just returned home, after a food shop, and Little Miss had fallen asleep in the car, so I was quickly bringing in a couple of the fridge and freezer items, before we had to rush off to collect Miss A from Preschool.

It had been raining and I was wearing my wellies. Normally, I’d have taken them off to go in the house, but, today, I was in a hurry. I rushed into the kitchen, when my left foot slid on the kitchen tiles, crossing in front of me, causing me to fall at an angle. I fell to the floor, unable to grip anything to stop my fall, or to put my hands out to brace for the landing. My hip hit the floor first, followed by the side of my face.

I’m fairly sure I didn’t pass out. I just remember feeling annoyed with myself, as I got to my feet.

Little Miss then began to wake, so I attempted to make my way to her. That was when I noticed blood dripping from my cheek and I began to feel dizzy.

Luckily, I had my phone in my pocket and was able to call for help.

I then tried to focus. There was a lot of blood and I knew I needed to stop the bleeding. So, I grabbed a tea towel and held in to my head.

Little Miss had now woken and was cooing from the car, but I knew it wouldn’t be safe to get her, so I sat in the doorway, talking and singing to her, until my Mum arrived, shortly followed by Adrian.

I was then taken to hospital.

Luckily, an xray of my jaw, showed no damage and the cut to my head only required taping, but there was a lot of bruising.

IMG_0773_20150525Β Β IMG_0772_20150525

Upon arriving home, a few hours later, I thought I’d be back on my feet the following day.

How wrong I was!

It took over a week for the dizziness, nausea and headaches to stop. I struggled to eat and needed someone with me constantly, to help with the girls. I ended up back in hospital a few days later, as I lost feeling down my left side. This turned out to be a trapped nerve in my neck, but was a bit scary at the time!

I also lost a tooth in the accident, whichΒ my Dentist was unable to save. It sat next to my front teeth. I had a denture for a short time, but I didn’t get on with it at all.

The teeth either side, have been weakened from the impact, so, the only long-term option, is to have an implant. However, I just can’t justify that sort on money right now, so I’m living with theΒ gap.

img_0934

As hard as I try to ignore it and just smile, I don’t feel happy with how it looks, so I’ve adopted a sort of grimace and hold my hand to my face as I talk.

I do feel cross with myself, as it’s only a tooth, and I will get it replaced one day, but it’s amazing how self-conscious it has made me feel. It really has knocked my confidence.Β I find it hard to talk to people, especially when meeting new people, and try to cut conversations short.

Over the next few months, I’ll be attending a few blogging conferences. I’m not sure how I’m going to manage with the social side of it, but I’m determined not to let a missing tooth, stop me from doing what I love.